Teaching Self Discipline to your students by KJN Richard Hackworth

Teaching Self Discipline to your students by KJN Richard Hackworth

The goal of discipline is to train children to voluntarily discipline themselves, that is, to control their own behavior without coercion.

Parents desire self-disciplined children: teachers hope for self-disciplined students; and teenagers, well, they dream of the day when no one tells them what to do.

Unfortunately, self-discipline, to many teenagers, means doing what “self” wants to do, instead of exercising self-control and self-restraint. Self-disciplined teenagers respect and obey authoritative constraints because of their respect for parents and teachers. All of whom are esteemed with honor.

The maturing of a child’s skills, abilities and personality depends on the instructional investments made by the child, the parents and the teachers, all three working together to build a well-rounded, self-disciplined child. Self-disciplined teenagers invest quality time in schoolwork, in relationships and in civic work, all of which yield good fruit. Conversely, undisciplined teenagers evade studying, waste time socializing with bad elements and grow up to become a life long financial and emotional burden on their parents. Undisciplined teenagers fail to understand what is best for their lives; they settle for less because it is easier to achieve. So, how can you, as a teacher or parent, teach your teenager self-discipline? First, adopt the simple rules listed below. Second, expect these rules to be obeyed. Third, refuse to give up when confronted with frustration, failure or disappointment.

The following rules will give your teenager, as well as all your children, a foundation for self-discipline.

1. Communicate the value of goals. Sit down with your teenager and talk about setting goals. For example, discuss academic goals, life goals, spiritual goals, college goals, career goals, etc. Listen to what he or she wants; guide, but do not dictate. Write goals on paper, then help your teenager break the goals down into easy achievable steps. When a step is completed, compliment your teenager, and when a goal is achieved, celebrate.

2. Teach and model responsibility. Assign tasks for everyone as soon as each child is old enough to accept responsibility. Expect prompt fulfillment of all responsibilities. Say “Thank You” for a job well done, and “Do it again” when it is done sloppily.

3. Stress good decision making. Life is not made up of dreams, it is made up of the choices people make. Guide your teenager in making good decisions and, if necessary, step in when a wrong decision could scar his or her life. Parents and teachers should begin to teach good decision making when the child is young.

4. Keep reminders short. Most teens have a short interest span. Limit reminders to ten seconds or less, and expect results without continuing reminders.

5. Express trust. Give teens opportunities to earn your trust. If trust is violated, start again with small things and gradually move to more important trust matters.

6. Expect the best. Model what you expect and expect your teenager to finish assigned tasks, even if you have to require the task redone until it is acceptable. Do not accept laziness or procrastination. Insist on your teen’s best at school, home and in public.

7. Implement consequences for wrong actions. A part of growing up is facing the consequences for wrong behavior. The best thing that can happen for some teens is to learn this lesson the hard way. Always stand ready to help your teenager when you can, but avoid excusing him or her from procrastinating habits and careless behavior.

Your teen will eventually graduate and leave your home or school. Who will help them when you are not available? If your teens learn good self-discipline, you can rest assured that the decisions he or she makes will be honorable and ethical ones.

About the author: Richard Hackworth is a multi-arts Grand Master who has dedicated his life to the research and development of the martial arts lifestyle. As the Chairman of the Hapkido School Growth Committee he is a Business Coach and Mentor to martial arts school owners and instructors around the world. He is the President of the USA Hapkido Union and author of the book, Be a Life Champion: The Martial Arts Way available on Amazon. 

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